On the brighter side…

Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people.         Henry Miller

Being a victim of mobbing can be extremely injurious. It is therefore important that victims know that there will be ways forward towards a brighter future, somehow, someway, even if it takes time to achieve. Some advice about practical ways to tackle mobbing can be found at http://www.bmartin.cc/pubs/07bullying.html.

In the meantime, there are some positive things people can do to help raise their spirits and deal with getting help. From one victim of mobbing to others, here are just a few things that have helped so far:

Inform your health professionals about mobbing. If you believe you have been mobbed, it may be helpful to tell your treating health professionals about mobbing. Not everyone is familiar with the term, so doing some research and presenting the information could help them and you understand what you are dealing with. Follow some of the links on the home page to find further information about mobbing.

Write it down.  It may be helpful to keep records and/or a journal about negative events. This could help practically later if you want to proceed with grievances, but in the here and now it helps clear you mind and reduces worry about remembering things. Keep these written documents private and back them up.

On a daily basis. Try and find small things that bring you pleasure each day, and treat yourself regularly. A good cup of coffee, some enjoyable music, a good book, a funny movie, some beautiful art or photography… take time out to refocus your mind on something pleasant. This also helps you remember the bigger picture – although mobbing can feel all consuming, there is always something to enjoy, somewhere.

Exercise and relaxation. Any exercise is beneficial is multiple ways, try and do a small amount every day to help release feelings of stress. Yoga is also a great choice. Explore different relaxation techniques.

Remember who you are. Shutting yourself away is not recommended: indeed, connecting with others and engaging in pleasurable activities are important. However, one thing that might help is to treat yourself to a day or two when you dedicate yourself to doing things that you particularly enjoy and might help raise your spirits. For example, go for a walk, read your favourite books, watch your favourite comedies, have a bath, eat nutritious food, etc. Focusing on the things that make you feel good and that you like might help remind you that you are a multi-dimensional individual, and reinforce your core spirit.

Find a voice. If you have been a target of mobbing, there is a good chance you might not be able to cope and respond to things as you might otherwise have done. Perhaps finding a trusted third person who is capable of advising you and acting on your behalf might help.

Stick close to support.  When the chips are down, who is around? Value any support you get, you may need help sometimes. Try and build up a support network however you can, even if it means finding new, external sources. Some of the mobbing websites mentioned on the home page offer avenues for joining supportive online communities.

Remember this:  “It is not the slugs of the workplace [the bullies target], it is not the sycophants, they are the bullies’ allies. The people they target are people with integrity, strength and skill, who threaten them. You understand that.”                    Dr Gary Namie, Workplace Bullying Institute

Stand up for character. I also liked the sentiment expressed on this webpage: http://www.sage.edu/centers/charactered/events/standupforcharacter/. That seems a positive way to approach one of the underlying problems of mobbing — the unnecessary negative focus on personal traits. Stand up for character, stand up for difference, stand up for richness and variety. Why should everyone conform to somebody’s rigid set of expectations? Sure, there will be difficulties and differences when any group of people are performing a task together, but there is a way to address these and meet middle ground and move forward that does not need to use the personal traits of someone as an excuse.

 

It would be interesting to hear other suggestions for things that have helped people cope.

 

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